What can we tell our children about their origins?

Published: 13 June 2013|Last updated: 22 July 2020|About Assisted Reproduction.|

Parents who have conceived thanks to egg or semen donations and are debating whether or not to explain this to their children have resources and recommendations to help them take their decision

Very often, the time comes when parents who have conceived their children through egg or sperm donations are faced with an important question. How can we explain to our children what their origins are?

In Spain, the law does not make it obligatory to inform children about this and parents are at liberty to decide whether they want to do it or not. At all events, those who decide to tell their children that they were born through egg or semen donation treatment can choose when and how they want to do this without any problem.

Based on the results of several studies on the psychological effects of telling or not telling children about this circumstance, the conclusion has been reached that there are no good or bad decisions.  Letting a child know or not letting him/her know that they are the result of a donation is equally positive on that child’s development. However, experts offer certain recommendations in one case or the other.

Parents who decide not to tell their child about his/her origins are recommended to do the same with the other members of the family and their circle of friends. This will avoid the undesirable situation of the child suddenly finding out about his/her origin without parental control.

The best age

On the contrary, those who decide to tell their children about their origins should bear in mind that, according to some specialists, certain ages have been defined as being the best ages for raising this issue. It is recommended to do it when they are very young, between the age of three and five, or later, when the child is aged between 10 and 12, but no later. In both cases, parents are urged to prepare for this moment and give the pertinent explanations simply and naturally, adapting them to the degree of maturity of the child.

Explaining to children of this age that they were born to their parents without the genetic load of one parent can be a truly difficult and even an embarrassing experience. In order to make this task easier for parents and in particular, to allow the child to understand and assimilate why help was needed to conceive him/her, there are different publications and stories that are especially recommendable and even adapted for very young children. In addition, parents can always visit a psychologist for guidance and advice adapted to their own particular case.

Precisely with the objective of helping would-be mothers in this task, Eugin Clinic offers its patients an attractive digital book. The book is very well written and translated into their language and it explains the different ways a baby can be conceived, in a way that children can easily understand.

Through this initiative, the Eugin personnel reaffirm their commitment to ensure the wellbeing of all those who put their trust in them.

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